Have you ever said something that you didn't know was going to offend the person you were talking to? We all have at one point or another in our lives. Sometimes it is hard to figure out what it was we said that offended them.
Many of us have been taught to say what's on our mind, no matter what it is. If you're happy, tell them: if your angry, let it out; if you're feeling any type of emotion.....just let it out. There are times that this can offend someone regardless of what you say.
We all are living in a time where emotions are high and sensitivity is not taken into consideration. I'm not saying you shouldn't say what's on your mind, but I am saying that it is very important that you put thoughts into the words you are going to use before you say it.
For example, have you ever been upset about something and said "you always do that", or "you never do that right". First, you need to think on how that would sound if someone said that to you. Think about it...... always and never are strong words. The person probably doesn't "always or never" do something. The best thing to do is have facts instead of generalizing what you are trying to say. Then present it to them in a kind and thoughtful manner. There will never be change if you express your feeling negatively.
The other common mistake is to blame others and point the finger without any facts to back it up. When there is a situation that happens and causes discord, it is important to take a look at what is going on before blaming others. Is there something you could have done wrong? Are there facts that you have on hand to demonstrate how the situation came about? We are all responsible for what we do and our response to it. Make a negative situation into a positive one.
Now, what about watching what we say when we are happy? That's a hard one because we want to be happy and share that joy with others. If you get a promotion, not all people may be happy for you or if you buy something that you have wanted and a friend of yours does not agree in your choice. You have to take each situation as it comes, but never say anything hurtful like, "I know you aren't happy for me and that's your problem".
The reason I bring this up is because life is about building relationships. It's not about being best friends with everyone, but it is about getting along. Throughout your life, you will meet people that you don't click with or they are not in-tune with their feelings, So why not make peace with people instead of angry feelings.
You can truly be an example to others by taking steps and changing the way you speak to others. By doing this, you never know how you have helped someone, but more importantly, how much you helped yourself.
With your response, your energy improves and you won't carry around the hurt and anger.